i just realized today how stupid i have been. being all self harm and all. doing it all because he wants someone to love him and also at the same time being hurt.

i just dont know what is it that attracts me to her so ... much. im tangled up in her web she made while we were together or i assume its just that one thing that cant escape my head. i guess she doesnt want to go through it again thats why she aint with me. i can say i understand but deep inside, i dont.

i guess its just not meant to be because everytime i lay my eyes on that bracelet, it breaks me. so i guess thats it for me; for being so emotionally attached to one person for so long. its been roughly 2 years and yea, its been tough.

i guess NOW is the time to REALLY get over it. its either now or never. so i suggest to myself, now.

rick.